That's easy. letters from ana. i love it. i mean i know there's really no point in writing this because its not like anybody reads it, but, im just saying its amazing. she's amazing. her writing, its amazing also. i think i love it lolz.
well, now that i've told you that, id like you to know that the girl who writes it, nikki (thats what she goes by), is very inspiring to me. i dont actually know anyone personally who's anorexic, or at least to my knowledge they're not, so she truely is amazing to me.
on another topic, do any of you know those super super skinny girls? the girls who are so small they can barely fit a double zero and yet they eat like fucking pigs? ya know? they piss me off. i want to be them. i want to be naturally skinny. i guess i am by all normal means, but to me, im definitely not. i wish i could be them, not with the whole eating like a pig part without gaining weight, but i just want to be naturally skinny. i feel depressed when i think about them. i dont know why. i think it's because i strive so hard to be them but i just cant get there. well, i could if i would just stop succumbing to food. but i dont think thats going to happen.
so... ive decided to take a break from ana. and i know that doesnt make sense, but i mean that im gonna stop restricting for a week, but still keep a notebook of what i eat. im going to the therapist soon and i need to gain weight. people always comment on my weight and i cant go to rehab. id fucking kill myself. i dont want to though. i dont want to gain weight. but i know it's better in the long run, so for know, if it's what i have to do so me and ana can stay friends, its what i will do.
well, cheers my lovelies jaime-lynn <3
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