hey guys

sorry i havent posted for like the past couple of days. my familys bullshit. thats all im gonna say. well actually, im going to explain why i havent posted. my grandmother, what a bitch. shes always bitching to me that i dont have a "figure eight" body. for those of you who dont know what that means, it means that you have gaps between your legs and the 2 gaps make the shape of an eight. well anyways, shes always bitching about it, but when i actually start doing something about it she bitches that ive lost a lot of weight and tells my mom im anorexic.

luckily, my mom thinks my grandmas bullshit too, so i have nothing to worry about. i could here them talking on the phone and my mom was just like "your ridiculous, shes never eaten and shes perfectly comfortable with herself". my mom thinks shes the one with the eating disorder anyways. but ill go into my family details in another post.

oh id also like to mention that i dont have a scale so i cant tell you if ive lost or gained, but i think i gained because, well, ive been eating. and i cant diet right now because of the whole thing with my grandma telling my mom she thinks im anorexic(which is quite ironic actually).  oh, and i bought a scale but i had to return it because it was terribly inaccurate. well, thats all my blabbing for know. i think im going to post later today to talk about my family, so you will have a better sense of how crazy they are, and me too.

Me and my Non-existant Health

hey guys, let me tell you a little bit about my health so you can get to no me a little better. i have acid reflux disease. it sucks really bad and i hate it. basically what that means is that my stomach over produces acid in  which causes it to hurt and for me to puke a lot without warning. because of this stupid disease i was put on some bullshit medicine a few weeks ago to help it. TURNS OUT! it just made it a hell a lot worse. but this brings me to the doctors trip i had to take to complain about the problem. here is how it went.
doctor: how do you feel today?
me: terrible
doctor: ive noticed that you lost some weight(said in some weird ass tone that i didnt quite get)
me: well ive been sick for a while
doctor: are you trying to lose weight? are you? well... are you?
me: (probably sounding a little terrified that id be found out by this psycho doctor) ummmm no. im fine with my weight. im a size freaking 1. were would i go from here?

anyways... i hope you can see the little problem that i encountered at that stupid doctors visit. that scared me. i was terrified. i wanted to run away. see, i was kind of lying. my stomach is hurting from the meds but also because i havent been eating to well. but i couldnt say that.

well, besides putting me on different meds the doctor put me on a diet called the BRAT diet. Bananas, Bread,Rice, Applesauce, and Tea. i cant have dairy. or fruit. NO FRUIT! im a vegetarian. and bread has a lot more calories than i want to eat. but i cant not eat because of my stomach. so this means that i probably wont stay in my wonderful size 0 anymore. well, at least my problem of maintaining or to keep loosing goes away. and my anna buddy will still have me to diet with. well, wish me luck as i embark on this high fiber, high wheat diet that will be the death of my new wonderful body.
with love jaime-lynn

Oh Happy Days!

i have the most exciting new to share!!!! i'm at my goal pants size! i cant even explain how happy an relieved i was when i found out. oh yeah, by the way, my goal size was a 0. i haven't fit into a zero since last year so i'm pumped. i thought i that i had gained weight because of a stupid binge, but i lost weight! but this does bring up the problem of having to either maintain this size or keep going. i want to just try and maintain it for a while to make sure that i can keep it, but i have a friend who i'm dieting with and if i didn't do it with her she'd be crushed (she's not exactly thin, well actually, she's only a few pounds away from being obese). decisions, decisions. well, i'll probably post later on today about other things, just so that you can know more about me and my life and so that you'll know that i'm really not just about my eating disorder. oh, and if anyone has an idea for a signature? that would be great because i'm freakin clueless.
<3 jaime-lynn :)

oh dear, my friends

well, i know that no ones reading my blog at this point but i really have to vent. gawd im a terrible person. i was on this perfect diet that seemed like it was made for me and i only had 2 days left of it and guess what i did?!?!!?!? yup, i blew it. ive been really sick lately because i havent been eating a lot. well anyways, ive discovered that when i dont eat at all or just dont eat enough for a couple of days my body tends to reject food a a while afterwords. just in case you dont get what i mean ill explain... i get SOOOOOOO freaking puking sick that i feel like i am going to puke out my stomache. this actually has happened in school twice this week, but today it was horrible. it hurt so bad(by the way i dont mean i made myself do it, it just happened). im sorry for those of you that really didnt want to know that but i felt like explaining. oh, and to add on to this horrific day, my texting buddy hasnt texted me since i said that i binged horrifically today. i NEED her. i mean i dont like seriously need her, but she makes everything a lot easier to deal with. also, my mother bought french fries today!!!! FRENCH FRIES in a MEDIUM!!! i dont know how to explain to you how much i wanted to kill myself afetr i ate them, but i couldn.t refuse them or else she'd get suspicious, and that would be bad. well anyways, i hope your day has been better. ill post again soon, hopefully with better news.

hello everybody!

hello everyone!!! i decided to make this blog so i could talk about my struggles with ana and my life, but mostly ana. you all can call me nicole. im not going to use my real name because i dont want to be revealed and because i want to be open with you all. i dont have much to say at the current moment because im new to all of this. well, thats all im going to say for now. ill post again when i have news on how my life is. oh, just incase might be confusing you, im PRO-ANA!!! im all for it, just clearifying. well, have a good day, or night depending on where you live. ill post again soon.oh also, i promise not to do these posts in rainbow fonts, i just wanted to this once because its my first post.

<3jaime-lynn :)