my fish just died. i just decided to name him a few hours ago, i named him jeremiah. but i guess that doesn't matter know. i just spent an hour crying my eyes out and all my mom did was laugh at me. he had blue eyes. thats why i was crying. because his eyes were blue but while he was dying they turned pale white. and he kept getting puled towards the filter and the current of the water was pushing him around. he was breathing so hard trying to stay alive but it was hopeless. he was basically already dead. and i couldnt do anything. i couldnt help him at all.
the whole time my fish was dying all i could think about was tom, and how i wanted him there, and how he would never be. i realize now that it's when you start to love some one, they have to go. nothing is good for ever. it would be against my religion if things were good for forever. i just wish that things were. but if things were always great i wouldnt be me. i wouldnt be thinking about what it would be like if me and tom were together. i wouldnt always be worried. i wouldnt have an eating disorder. who would i be if the world was perfect? who would any of us be?
jaime-lynn
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