okay, the good news, i lost 2 pounds. i weighed myself yesterday, RIGHT after i ate. im 97 pounds now. haha, that means my bmi is 19.4. sweet. im so close to 19.0 that i can almost taste it. im so happy right now. and my collar bones are protruding like crazy today. sweet.
okay, now for the bad news. i binged yesterday. im sorry to let anyone down. ill explain, and this isnt an excuse for me being weak, i know i am. here goes, i fucked up my "demonstration" for the school i wanted to go to. i went into the room with a group of maybe 15 others that wanted to, also, go to the school as singers, and as soon as i walked in i forgot the song. then i was called on to sing and had a panic attack, didnt sing the song, and ran to the bathroom and puked. yeah it was great. then they gave me a second chance and i blew it again.
Now for the really suckish news!!!! i failed physics. my teacher hates me and said i missed to many days so he gave me a 60 in his class. of course he told me this before class started so i was crying the whole class and the next period, but i calmed down for lunch.
oh, i also saw my therapist for the first time today. she doesnt know im anorexic and she wont ever know. it went okay, she acted like i was stupid though, she talked to me slowly and like i was 5. i dont blame her though, when im nervous i laugh. A LOT. its ridiculous and i know but i just cant help it. i really wish i could. . well, thats all the news i have for today my lovelies. Jaime-Lynn <3
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